I wrote this piece as a part of my acceptance that this happened. It helps me with the integration processes that are taking place. It wasn’t exactly easy to write, because some may see it as out there…I am past caring. I want to speak candidly about my experiences so you can learn and grow with me:)
Over the years I have been offered past life regression sessions. It never felt right.
Through harmonious events, I recently said yes to Cynthia Mcavoy a studying practitioner of past life regression.
Until I arrived at there space I couldn’t understand the why’s…Why now? Why this quick, bird like little Blond woman with inexhaustibly, fun loving energy?
Upon arriving I found instantly it was more than the readiness of the student.
It went beyond the practitioner. It was her space, her connection to her partner, his steadfast African energy that seemed to match how I feel about the culture, her passion for the work. It was a symphony of elements harmoniously coming together.
After chatting, we were able to quiet my restless and resistant mind. She helped me waft in and out of two lifetimes. A loving girl who grew up knowing family love, loss, and a rich life of simplicity. The second, a contrast, was the sad story of a woman in the depression era committed to a man that she would lose, and forever love. A man who came in her last moments from the after life, validating the truth of what they had. Both lives teaching and healing me.
Then came the surprise….
Cynthia was able to access an aspect of my subconscious, or higher self I try to contain. This part of me showed herself in the most humourous and direct way. Instantly, it became clear she was desperate to be speak, be seen, heard and released. She wanted to come out and play.
I was fully conscious of this experience. For the first time I was allowing uncomfortable truths about myself to surface through this other voice who knew me to well. The uncomfortable reasons I can be angry, why I can’t move forward in certain aspects of my life, why I love the weirdest things! It all made sense now on such deep levels.
Dots were connecting like wild fire, this beautiful, bold, and erratic creature recalled her favourite life as a small, bald, Jewish man who lived in New York. He was foul mouthed and didn’t care what others thought. Loyal to a wife who died to young, a man who wouldn’t hurt a fly. He loved his cigars (and women after his beloved passed on). He wasn’t liked much, but respected. He gave this part of his spirit that was now my counterpart the sense of freedoms she now loved and desired.
I heard where my existences began. It shook me. God, love, life, it’s all different now.
She spoke about society. How finding that elusive thing we call inner and world peace can be found past the fear of our instinctual selves.
She went on to colourfully explain that we are so afraid of losing control and anarchy, that our need for control pushes our subconscious self, or an aspect of our higher self, into a frenzy. “And you wonder why everyone is so f+*% angry! This place isn’t a god damn prison! It’s suppose to be a f@&) playground!” She says in desperate and aching tones, followed by a quick and quirky “if you’ll excuse my language” I can hear Cynthia laughing from my place in the background. I now feel like the ghost. She, that other side of me, is now fully present. And more than speaking her mind. She was showing us truths.
This went on for an hour and a half. Talk of dad (meaning god), life, the bookworm (me) and so much more, left me reeling in it’s aftermath. I drove home a little euphoric in my new knowledge, and hung over by what I had experienced and allowed. This creatures energy was fast, furious, and unforgettable.
Did that happen, or was this my ego playing tricks with me?
The next day I had moments of doubt. I went over the recording and noticed that there were things I, as Angel, had no knowledge of. Feelings were stirred with every word my other self spoke. Again, unexpected.
This was a session even my wonderful past life regressionist Cynthia said was something she had never experienced. Something I had somewhat heard of from a book called Many Lives, Many Masters. A true story in which a psychotherapist and his patient happened on past life regression through her sessions. A journey that takes them both on a life changing journey of understanding, knowledge and wonder. A book I sniffed at until I began its tale. A book I embrace now in a completely different way.
I always saw regression as a modality of understanding. After this, I now know it is a place of healing. A place of unlocking for those of us who allow, and place where many lives can change past, present and for a better, stronger future.
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